Final Draft

Growing Up a Twin

It seems like most people would define the experiences that have shaped their lives as the difficult, life altering ones such as disease and loss, but I think my life has been most affected by a variety of incidents ranging from happy to frustrating. However, growing up with someone by your side for 22 years usually plays a huge role in these experiences. This person that I’m talking about is my twin brother, Bradley. We bicker like all siblings do, and laugh more than most but I think the biggest difference between our relationship and anyone else’s with their non-multiple siblings is that we share everything. As cliché as it sounds, I can honestly say that I would not be the person that I am today if I didn’t get to grow up with Brad by my side. Of the many attributes I encompass, having Bradley as my twin brother has positively affected the person I am today in numerous ways, including: teaching me to become independent, loyal, and generous, as well as helping me realize I want to be a nurse. There is no way to determine the kind of person I would have grown into had I not had these experiences with my brother.

GENEROSITY

Although being a twin presents many opportunities for sharing and generosity, one incident sticks out in my mind. One year for Christmas, when we were about ten years old, my brothers and I all received Doctor Dreadful kits. 

I wanted the coveted Doctor Dreadful Gummy Bugs, and on Christmas morning, I was excited and surprised that I actually got it. But when Bradley opened his Doctor Dreadful Monster Brains, he decided that mine was cooler and threw a fit because he didn’t get it. Naturally, I didn’t want to trade, because obviously, mine was cooler. But eventually, Brad’s dramatics made my mom cry because he was “a brat and was never grateful for anything.”

So you can remember Doctor Dreadful
(DoctorDreadful)

Since it was Christmas I decided to be nice and suggested that we help each other make our gross concoctions and then we could share what we made. Ultimately, my mom was happy that we were happy, and I later looked back on this experience and realized that sharing and generosity really do pay off. Even though it didn’t directly benefit me that much at the time, I now understand how happy my mom must have been to see us happy and getting along.

Today, I pride myself on being generous, although I think sometimes people take advantage of me.  I think that having to share everything growing up taught me to enjoy it because I learned to love making other people happy.  Whether it is just volunteering to spend time with the elderly, or offering to pay for someone’s dinner, the thought of making someone else’s day a little better makes me content. 

 

  INDEPENDENCE

When I mentioned earlier that Bradley and I ‘share everything,’ I didn’t mean that I tell him everything or even that we are best friends. I meant we literally shared almost everything that we’ve ever had including clothes, baths, friends, mannerisms, birthdays, secrets, our parents’ attention, bedrooms, and cars. By the time freshman year of high school rolled around, I was sick of constantly being associated with him; I wanted to be my own person and make my own friends; I wanted not to be known as “Bradley Meyer’s sister,” but just as “Emily.”
 

Arches National Park

By the middle of our freshman year I decided that I wanted to go on a month-long school camping trip to the southwest with my best friend, and I was adamant that Brad not go with us. I remember begging my parents not to let Bradley sign up because I wanted make new friends and most importantly, separate myself from him.

It was the longest time we had ever spent apart and although I made a ton of friends and learned plenty, I missed Brad immensely while I was gone. However, it turned out to be the best experience of my life and in many ways it helped me discover who I was without Bradley and how to be independent. It provided me with the autonomy that I needed. On the other hand, I also learned not to take my brother for granted and to appreciate the relationship that we had.

Currently, Bradley and I both go to school at Ohio University, and we usually see each other every other weekend.  I think that had I not gone on my month-long trip, it would have been tough getting used to not seeing him every day, and I am thankful for the sense of independence I now have.  I not only feel that I am my own person and have my independence from Brad, but I also feel like an independent person in life in general.  For example, I don’t feel the need to always be surrounded by people.  I lived by myself sophomore year and though sometimes it was a little boring, I enjoyed the independence and privacy most of the time. 

LOYALTY

I can also indirectly thank Bradley for helping me learn loyalty and that if you love someone, you should have their back. It is actually a pretty embarrassing story and I usually feel really trashy when people I know from high school bring it up. But when I look back on the lesson I learned from the experience, I guess I feel grateful that it happened.
 

So, one day during senior year, the halls were buzzing with gossip that Bradley had hooked up with someone else’s (Mark’s) girlfriend…you know, the typical high school drama. Naturally, a fight broke out in the school parking lot during lunch. By the time I realized what was happening, Bradley had been pinned on the ground and was being punched repetitively. To this day, I don’t remember thinking about my ensuing actions, which leads me to believe that it was some weird natural instinct that took over. Either way, I ended up getting pulled away from Mark after punching him in the back of the head…classy, right? But, at least I split up the fight. When it was all over, we saw the school security and deans coming out to see what was going on so everyone involved hurried and left for lunch. Of course, my mom got a phone call demanding that we come back to school to meet with the dean.

In the end, Bradley and I both got called to the dean’s office for being involved but all of my friends lied for me and said that I only tried to break up the fight. I had my brother’s back, even if he didn’t need me, and my friends had my back when I did need them. From this situation, I learned from my friends’ support, in addition to my own actions, to be loyal to my loved ones, although maybe not in a physical manner. If I could do it over, I don’t think I would change anything because overall, the lesson learned was more important. 

I think before this incident, if someone was talking negatively about someone I loved, I would have just sat there and maybe even laughed along with them due to my fear of confrontation.  But since that experience, I know that I would speak up because it is the right thing to do.  I think that I can now be more confident around other people because I know that I have loyal friends and family, so if someone doesn’t like one of us, then to hell with them; we have each other.

"The Rescuing Hug"

This is a picture and link to an article called The Rescuing Hug about premature twin girls. One was weaker than the other and could not catch her breath or stabilize her own body temperature. When the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) nurse thought there was nothing left to do, she put the weaker baby in the same incubator with her stronger twin sister. Almost immediately, the weak baby snuggled up close to the strong baby, who wrapped her arm around her struggling sister. As a result, the weak baby’s breathing and body temperature stabilized and both girls survived (Mikkelson, and Mikkelson).

I think that this story shows that twins have an innate need to protect their sibling.  Though my experience wasn’t as life-saving or profound, I think that somewhere deep inside, I knew that my brother needed help. 

CARING FOR OTHERS

Sophomore year in high school, Bradley and I were in a sort-of awkward stage where we fought about everything and couldn’t stand one another.  This period continued until Brad broke his right shoulder during a football game which obviously became a huge burden for him. When he got home from the hospital the first night I felt so bad for him and I hated seeing him in that much pain.  I couldn’t even imagine trying to complete the simplest of tasks with only my non-dominant arm.  I don’t think you realize how much an injury like that actually affects you until you experience it.

At the time, I was taking an athletic training class, so of course I thought I knew everything. I basically became Brad’s caregiver for the first few weeks because my parents were at work most of the time and he and I had the same schedule. I told him when to take his pain pills and how often he should ice or heat it; I helped him with showers because he couldn’t lift his arm at all, but was also advised not to let it hang freely; I woke up an hour earlier than normal in order to help him get dressed and get his sling on; and I drove him everywhere. It was a huge adjustment for him. Thankfully, Bradley’s shoulder healed correctly and he gradually regained use and needed me less and less. By the end of his injury, I felt kind of sad that he didn’t need me anymore because I liked being there for him and being needed.  Though I would have never wished this injury on anybody, I was grateful because it helped make our relationship so much stronger.  I think him being dependent on me for everything even made him appreciate me more.

Looking back, I think this experience was pivotal in my decision to become a nurse.  I really did enjoy caring for my brother and it felt nice to be needed and to have his gratitude.  There wasn’t some profound realization, but I know that when I needed to pick a major at the end of my freshman year in college, the memory of caring for Bradley played a role in my decision.

Though sometimes we don’t get along, I know for a fact that my life would not be the same without my twin brother, Bradley. When you grow up with someone from birth and share your entire life with that person, it definitely affects the person you grow into. As we get older, my brother and I are growing closer than ever and realizing the ways our special relationship has benefited us throughout our lives. We have learned not to take each other for granted because most people don’t get to experience what we have been through. I cannot wait to see how we continue to grow together, yet independently, and I can only hope that I have impacted his life as greatly as he has mine. Bradley has made me a better person and I know he will continue to do so, and I will be grateful for that every day.

image: (Toppin)
Fraternal Twin Facts 
(Fierro)

Through the years I’ve realized that a lot of people don’t know very much about twins.  I can’t even count the number of times people have asked me if Bradley and I are identical, which isn’t possible.  So, I thought I would provide a link to some facts about fraternal twins, some of which I didn’t even know before I read this!


Works Cited

Toppin, Barbara. "11 Weeks Pregnant Identical Twin Girls Ultrasound." Healthtap. N.p., n. d. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

DoctorDreadful. “Original Tyco Doctor Dreadful Food Lab Commercial.” Online video clip. YouTube. YouTube, 23 Feb. 2010. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

Mikkelson, Barbara, and David Mikkelson. "Rescuing Hug." Snopes.com: Rumor Has It. N.p., 25 Feb. 2007. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.

Fierro, Pamela. "Facts about Fraternal Twins." About.com: Twins & Multiples. N.p. n.d. Web. 10 Dec. 2012.